Mr. Personality

It has been a while since I have posted. Mostly because I have been enjoying my life with Jayden. He is already 8 months old, 6 months adjusted. I fall more and more in love with him every minute of every day. He is still a peanut, but he is growing so his doctor isn't too concerned. We do have an appointment with an ENT at the beginning of May. He has periods of loud breathing which seem to come from his throat. His doctor said it is probably something called Tracheomalacia. He only said this after I insisted on a referral to the ENT. From Dr. Google, I have suspected tracheomalacia, but I want to make sure and talk to a specialist in the field. 
Over the last 8 months, Jayden has emerged as Mr. Personality. He is one of the happiest, easy going babies I have ever seen. He smiles with his whole face and it could melt even the coldest of hearts. We have created a monster though. An animal loving monster. He absolutely LOVES all of the animals we have. Charlie (our big dog) and him seem to have the most fun together. Charlie lets Jayden do whatever he wants to him. We are working on trying to teach Jayden "nice touches", but he is 8 months old. Jayden finds it hilarious when Charlie gives him kisses, which is often since Charlie is a lab and loves to lick.
The curiosity and wonder I see in Jayden's eyes every moment of the day is amazing to me. He is literally seeing things for the first time. He examines everything (and then usually tries to put it in his mouth!) with excitement. As a teacher, scientist, and now a mother, I strive to keep that inquisitive nature alive throughout his entire life. 
As for me, I still feel the guilt every day. I tell my son that I am sorry every day. There is no timetable for healing. Exercise has been helping greatly, as has volunteering for the Pre-Eclampsia foundation's Denver Promise Walk. It allows me to feel like I am doing something to try and prevent this from happening again should we decide to have more children. I hope that one day there will be better treatments for this complication of pregnancy so that delivering the child prematurely will not be the best option to save both the mother and the child. I don't ever want to feel as helpless and alone as I did last August.