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Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Waiting Game

We have now entered what the doctors and nurses call "The Waiting Game". We are waiting on Jayden to learn how to eat. Unfortunately, it is not a practice makes perfect type of thing. It is a neurological maturity thing. They say that one day it will just click, a light bulb will turn on and he will be mature enough to eat his entire feeding by bottle. Once that happens and he is consistent for a few days, he can go home. He will be 35 weeks gestation on Tuesday. I hope it clicks soon. They say that boys take longer than girls with this. So we just sit and wait. Right now he is only taking about 10 ml by bottle. After that he gets so tired that he falls asleep. The good thing is that he isn't stopping breathing while he takes it and he seems pretty coordinated with the suck, swallow, and breathe process when he does take a bottle. 
He is up to 5 lbs now! His cheeks are filling out. His legs and arms are still so skinny. It won't be long before he can wear newborn stuff. 
Jayden was put back on oxygen a few days ago. With him working on feeding more and doing so much growing he needs the extra oxygen to compensate for the altitude. If we were at sea level, he would not need to be on it. Depending when he comes home, he may have to go home on it. I am nervous about how that will work. I know the home health people bring everything and set it all up. I know they give you the ability to travel with it and I am sure it becomes second nature once you get use to it, but until then I am anxious. 
I am getting very tired of the drive to and from the hospital. I forget that I only gave birth to him two weeks ago. I forget that I just had a major surgery and my body is not only still physically healing, but trying to heal emotionally as well. I can barely make it through the 10 pm news before crashing. It so hard to do anything more than the bare minimum when I am home because of the constant travel and around the clock pumping. I know that if he was born full term I would be just as physically exhausted, if not more, but I highly doubt that I would be as emotional exhausted. I just want him home!

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